


Only When I Sleep

by Coraleeveritas



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, F/M, Ficlet, Fluff, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-22 10:24:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3725299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coraleeveritas/pseuds/Coraleeveritas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are some things Jaime only can admit to when Brienne is sleeping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only When I Sleep

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JaimesLostHand](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaimesLostHand/gifts).



> This is a little ficlet fill for a prompt from JaimesLostHand about 'things you said when you thought I was asleep'. Reader beware, this is maybe overly sweet but I was feeling the need for some fluff :)
> 
> As always, a huge thank you goes to RoseHeart for all her comments and support and love.

Although they were finally off the road and no longer at the mercy of robbers and rapers alike, habit, rather than necessity, meant that Brienne still had trouble falling asleep without knowing one of her companions was on guard. There was only the three of them now, but in her bones she couldn't help but feel that someone else had to be out there, watching and waiting for them to make a mistake. And no matter how many times she told herself that the Brotherhood was no more, that Catelyn Stark was twice dead and buried in a manner befitting the ways of the old gods, Brienne's dreams were full of the blood and pain and choices that kept tying her stomach in knots. Jaime would forgive her eventually, she hoped, and Pod already had, but she would never forgive herself for almost getting them all killed.

Since they had started travelling north so many moons ago, they had rarely come across a safe place to rest. Even so, she would have preferred not to linger at the abandoned inn just out of reach of Deepwood Motte, but Jaime had insisted they spend at least one night there, after exhaustion had led to her almost falling off her beautifully steady mare. The fever that had burned through her after Biter's attack was gone but the healing process was taking its toll, her weeping cheek and ravaged neck reminding Brienne of what she had done every time she accidentally caught a glimpse of herself in a reflective surface. She was no longer the same girl who had set off from Tarth to serve in a kingdom of summer, though Jaime was far from the same arrogant knight she had met while rotting in a temporary cell. His eyes betrayed him more than his words, his actions even more so. Why he cared for her health still confused her, after all that she had done.

On those nights where she believed his promises that iron and oak were protection enough from the rest of the dying world, Jaime would joke and tease and argue until protest was the furthest thing from her mind when he joined her in the bed large enough to hold half a Kingsguard. Though they went to it chastely enough, fully clothed and too tired to do more than close their eyes, she would wake to find his breath warming her skin, a heavy arm thrown around her muscled torso as if his touch alone could save her from her recurring nightmares.

The first time it happened, she swore that he would be sleeping on the floor from then on, but snow fell the next night and she found she couldn't begrudge him what little warmth there was. Her old septa would have smacked her for even thinking about lying beside a man who wasn't her husband, but this was _Jaime_ and there was more trust and respect between them than Brienne expected any other man would likely want to admit. That, she knew, didn't excuse the impropriety she felt dozing in his arms, caught between sleeping and waking, secretly listening to his early morning murmurs.

"I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you," he told her the third morning they spent in the inn, whispering the words into her hair after Pod had disappeared to see to the horses. It took all of her self-control not to blush and give herself away, not to turn and echo the same sentiment. "The boy worships you, as squires are prone to do, but you're _my_ wench." She shivered at that, hoping that it felt like an involuntary reaction to the winter winds battering the windows and not because of the warm words swirling around her ear, and he pulled the furs tighter around them both. "My lady."

Mindful that he wasn’t saying such things to _her_ , but rather a silently sleeping version of herself, Brienne gently pushed her unmarred cheek deeper into the makeshift pillow and exhaled, wanting to bring her heartbeat back under control and let his velveteen voice ease her into pleasanter dreams. Her body betrayed her, however, her breath escaping in a maidenly sigh that had Jaime thickly cursing the gods. But it was quickly followed by a chuckle and the knock of his nose against her jaw as he, once again, settled down behind her, warm and solid and enticing.

“My Brienne,” he purred as she shuffled closer without even thinking, drawn to the growing familiarity of having Jaime _there_ , holding her like friendship and forgiveness weren’t the only things that could exist between them.

The apology she had been holding on to since Lady Stoneheart loomed over them and made her _choose_ , lived and died on her tongue while comfort stilled her movements, feeling Jaime’s shortened arm curl around the slightest dip at her waist. His breath slowed as sleep beckoned to them both, despite the sliver of light sneaking up the walls of their room, his words turning to nonsense, though she understood each and every one.

 _My Jaime_ , she thought as her eyelashes fluttered and his head dropped to her shoulder, a dream Brienne would have left for the spring, if only, for the first time in her adult life, she wasn’t learning what it was to feel loved.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :)


End file.
